__.« Mum, it's me. I know you're gone and you're not coming back, but... I was just thinking that__. __.maybe... somehow I could see you again or be able to talk to you or hear your voice...
__.It all just seems so fake. This idea that, good things happen to good people and, there's magic in the__. __.world and, the meek and righteous will inherit it. There's too many good people who suffer for__. __.something like that to be true. There are too many prayers that get unanswered. Everyday we__. __.ignore how completely broken this world is. And we tell ourselves it's all gonna be okay, “You're__. __.gonna be okay !" But it's not okay. And once you know that, there's no going back... There's no__. __.magic in the world. At least not today there isn't.
__.I was thinking about the finality of it all. How somebody can leave your world in a blink of an eye__. __.and be gone forever. It's... it's too enormous to think about. It's too hard. And then you're just__. __.supposed to go on, right ? Like just “deal with it”. I mean really, you're supposed to be sad for about__. __.as long as the flowers last and then, oh, time to go back to telling jokes and reminiscing about the__. __.old days... I don't have any jokes to tell ! As a matter of fact, I hope I never hear another joke as__. __.long as I live. And the old days are just that, they are “old” days that are... gone.
__.I have to tell myself to just be happy, but I don't feel happy. And when I try to change it, when I__. __.try to remember what being happy felt like, I can't. I don't feel joy, I don't feel inspired... I feel numb. »
texte : One tree hill / photo : eredel